吳銓高填詞【小重山】 [夜雨]

[吳銓高]

夜雨 [詞]【小重山】
珠跳雷嗔響不休。隔窗聲震耳 , 替花愁。難眠方覺夜悠悠。
更漏促 , 醒臥擁衾幬。索句效風流。雨停詩末就 , 自慚羞。
清晨天霽赴園遊。紅已瘦 , 肥綠滿梢頭。

[樂齋]

首句便覺生動！
末句”肥”字”滿”字存一即可，庶免架屋之感。

詞長書法極用心，唯字字對齊，略嫌拘束，
王右軍有字不宜布如算子之論，此言可以參酌。

[吳銓高]

謝謝 [樂齋] 版主賜評, 說的是, 感恩 ! 改一下:

夜雨 [詞]【小重山】
珠跳雷嗔響不休。隔窗聲震耳 , 替花愁。難眠方覺夜悠悠。
更漏促 , 醒臥擁衾幬。索句效風流。雨停詩末就 , 自慚羞。
清晨天霽赴園遊。紅已瘦 , 肥綠綻梢頭。

[飞仙]

小重山

墨漆長天雲未休
落花隨雨濁、幾多愁
敲窗風急夢難悠
心寄遠、幽怨鎖紗幬

年歲似江流
蒼天猶未補、總含羞
令威騎鶴海天遊
詩情永、何患染霜頭

[吳銓高]

謝謝 [飞仙] 詞長惠和, 感人!

[飞仙]

銓高兄詩、書、畫三絕，吾等只可望其項背矣。

[吳銓高]

[飞仙] 詞長誤會了,
圖畫是用 GOOGLE 搜索的。
很欣賞你的 [簽名]檔。

[飞仙]

銓高兄至少詩書雙馨。

弟之簽名檔系摘自弟所寫新詩。謝銓高兄雅賞。

[吳銓高]

[詞]【小重山】夜雨 【原創 : 吳銓高】物26古韻
珠跳雷嗔響不休。隔窗聲震耳 , 替花愁。難眠方覺夜悠悠。
更漏促 , 醒臥擁衾幬。索句效風流。雨停詩末就 , 自慚羞。
清晨天霽赴園遊。紅已瘦 , 肥綠綻梢頭。

Night Rain [By Charles Wu]
Raindrops jumped down after the angry crash of thunder.
Through the window, such loud noises woke the sound sleeper.
I could not sleep well and worried for the flowers.
During the long night, the rain attacked like bombers.
Under my blanket, I tried to compose a poem.
Time passes but I could not finish it in good rhythm.
I felt ashamed as my work was but a big yawn.
The verse was incomplete till the rain stopped at dawn.
Touring my garden, I found red blossoms did drop
While all leaves looked vividly green at the tree top.

吳銓高 詩情畫意 [詞]夜雨------------ [卷 J] 829


輝字吳銓高詩 [詞]夜雨------------ [卷G] 057


吳銓高 毛筆書法1 [夜雨]--------------- [卷14] 198


吳銓高 毛筆書法2 [夜雨]--------------- [卷25] 990


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http://www.ourrice.com/~Scorpio3210/recipe01.htm